Perspectives on Grief: Marie Tomaro

This post is part of our Perspectives on Grief series, where we ask our caring staff members to share their personal experiences with grief. For more stories like this, subscribe to our weekly grief support newsletter.

The relationship we build with our parents from the time we are young is unlike any other—making their passing one of the most difficult life experiences.

The loss of their support, guidance, and love can leave an emptiness and pain that may feel impossible to heal and cope with, even if their death was expected.

This is one of the many reasons we put together the Perspectives on Grief blog series. Periodically, we share the perspectives of our caring staff members who have been personally impacted and touched by a loss. It’s our hope that these personal stories help you find a sense of comfort throughout your grief journey. 

Continue reading to hear from Funeral Director Marie Tomaro about her personal experience with grief.

Marie Tomaro's Personal Journey with Grief

My greatest experience with grief came from the loss of my father nearly 25 years ago—I remember it vividly.  

I was sick with the common cold and nursing my seven-week-old son. A call came in from my brother that dad had passed away in his sleep. Instantly, the cold I had left my system. In between bursts of tears, I readied my son and told my mom that I would meet her at the funeral home.

I thought I would never laugh again. I looked at people around me and wished I lived in their world, what appeared to be happy and carefree. Thank goodness for my infant son who needed me around the clock. If it had not been for my baby, I would have been at the cemetery every day thereafter.

The first year was the hardest. I looked for signs from my father that he still existed in some form. Those signs came to me, and I was comforted. I confided in a cousin, who had already lost both parents, that I did not think I would ever laugh again, and he confidently said, “Oh, you will,” giving me hope once more.

Looking back nearly 25 years later, I learned that grief eases and evolves. I still think about my father and miss him, but I do not cry anymore, and it is good to laugh again. I would love to tell him about his grandchildren and show him the changes in the city he loved so much, but somehow, I think he knows. I believe without a doubt that he still exists and is in a better place. I know I will see him again.

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In the days, weeks and months following a loss, it’s important to remember the grieving process has no set timeline. To help guide you through your grief journey, we encourage you to sign up for our weekly newsletter, A Journey Towards Healing. When you subscribe, you’ll receive weekly emails of encouragement across an entire year of your grief experience.